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March 30th, 2008
03:57 pm - in a few hours...
i'll be on tour with the cheerleaders and rugby guys to...
calella!
(http://www.calellafest.com)
it's south of spain, just an hour from barcelona.
at the moment the rest of the team are on the coach on the way there...
it's 36 HOURS via coach with a team of naked boys so i thought helll nooooo i'm gettin the plane (2 hours).
a week long trip with sporting events for each team- so we'll be competing for cheer again.
there are dress up themes each night too!
in other words, just an excuse for a massive piss up!
it'll be good to get away.. although i'm slightly worried bout' the heaps of work which awaits me....
adam's not too keen on my going either..
but i don't blame him.
a week of alcohol and bonding with the rugby lads doesn't bring much security, does it!
he he he ...
anyway it's gonna be a proper mission to get there!
i'm leaving like 3am to get to victoria station, then gettin a coach to luton airport,
then the plane to barcelona airport, then some form of transport to calella!
but- sure as hell beats 36 hours in a coach!
easter's been good.. went to visit the fellows in leighton buzzard again.
stayed for like 5 days- got to see adam's dad preach! and sing! and prance about with candles!
it was sweet.. very traditional services!
i'm real comfortable with his family now, and they say i can come and stay as long as i want!
we joke, poke fun, play cards, talk deep with each other..
and it's always nice to see adam being all family-oriented- i love it!
nice glimpse into the future isn't it...
we spent loads of quality time together too, seeing that we never really got to
before due to our mental schedules..
we went back to our favourite lake.. up the slopes to check out the view..
watched films.. went to a few services at his dad's church.. walked by the canal etc...
it was freezing tho! snowed! which is entirely bizarre in march!
i've gotta continue packing now.. then start preparing a meal.
i'm cooking for adam!
we're kinda "celebrating" out 10th month.
silly right- but hello, double digits! it's a big deal.. right.. right?
i'm making some kind of spicy indian rice with cashew nuts and other stuff in it- from a cook book.
i'm using a slow cooker!
speaking of which.... i really miss home food!!
a week ago i dreamt of hokkien mee and mee pok... mmmmmmm
can't believe it'll be another 4 months til i get that sweet authentic taste of spore food in my mouth.....
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February 17th, 2008
12:51 pm - it has been
a blissful week---
tuesday i had my freshfields interview
a timed written exercise, article analysis, and interview discussions on it and a second phase about me
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
wednesday i found out i beat thousands of applicants for a place on their summer scheme commencing on 7 july (just 20 interns!!) EXCITESSS!!!!!>!>!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
thursday adam surprised me at the door with a bouquet of roses and breakfast for valentine's day
i went to cheer that evening and met him again later to go to the movies and cocktails
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
friday i got a letter from freshfields asking for bank details and my choice of department
i'm choosing the finance department- just something new- and for 3 weeks i'll be paid £825!! hours are 930-530, with an hour lunchbreak.. . good stuff
i also found out that daddy's offering adam a chance to train and work with the london-based tiger beer team!
adam's interested in the marketing aspects- and that means we can work at the same time!!
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
saturday the King's College Lions went to the official Future Cheer Competition, meeting other teams from the region for the first time-----
we won 1st place for our all-girl division, and GRAND CHAMPION for 3 divisions!!!!!!!!!!*!*!**!*!!!
we were soo overwhelmed!!! our very first time competing with non-london teams and we owned it!!!
we've come such a long way and it was so hilarious seeing all the girls crying from happiness when they announced us!
when we heard we owned our division we were so surprised, and then after all the trophies were given the judges said they decided on grand champion based on the team that's most creative,
most exhilerating with crowd appeal and spirit- a team they want future cheer's legacy to be carried- "the King's College Lions!!!!"
and we were like HUH???? for a split second, and then the shrieks, screams and jumping were endless.
i still can't believe we won.
when we came, everyone was lookin at us like, 'who are these noobs', 'never seen them before', and hell yeah we took it by storm...
now it makes it more difficult to leave..
i give all glory to God...
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January 27th, 2008
01:34 pm
once again i apologise for the severe lack of activity on this blog.
a lot of things are going on at the moment.
just a brief sum up so you know i haven't forgotten about you!
first of all, happy new year and i trust you guys had a brilliant christmas..
really gutted i couldn't spend it with you guys.
so this goes out to..
my bestie at home, darius.
the fab four- rachel, dawn and shar
my cell- there's too many of you
the girls- chuin, ping, jess, daph, mel..
and then there's of course the others i value- hannah, jeannie, vicky, rachel (yap :)), dave, laura, sarah (slim :p), jin (but of course..)
i have no doubt christmas and new years at home would've been absolutely sublime with your company!
instead i spent it with family, over here.. and new years i was at embankment watching fireworks with soph, rich,
and adam.
it was quite shit cuz it was raining (as london weather is just great) so the smoke and vapour got reduced to smog, so
all we could hear were the sounds .... ....
and about updates..
+ adam and i were in prague for 3 days just last week- it was his christmas present to me! it was sooo amazing, a very much needed
break, felt so rejuvenated when i came back.
moreover we spent quality time together, and didn't fight ONCE. miraculous. and the scenes were breathtaking- and of course the beers were 50p a pint- no kidding!
pictures, and updates soon ..
+ law- i've applied to 7 firms for summer schemes; did it over christmas.
the atmosphere at uni is pretty intense at the moment cuz everyone's trying to get a placement so its so competitive. getting an interview itself is absolute god-send.
but i've been very blessed and i managed to secure an interview with linklaters and freshfields!
i also got into a workship for clifford chance!
i was blown away when i heard because apparently they get like 1500++ applications, and only interview like 6percent.
more importantly all 3 firms are magic circle, so this would be priceless for my career.
only thing is i've been working my arse off reading and reading and getting informed so as to sharpen commercial awareness.
my interview with links is this wednesday- ahhh.
it has so many phases.. critical reasoning test, then interview with HR, then interview with the firm's partner where he'll test your commercial knowledge,
then an assessment time where you're given a legal scenario to work through with the other interviewees and they monitor the way you work with them!
crazy extreme process that lasts 4 hours!
its been pretty suffocating having my career thrown at me so early on and the pressure's really acting up- i guess it doesn't quite help that i have other commitments that i can't compromise on..
this is the time where i'm really clinging onto God to empower me.
all i can do is believe He's placed me where i am all in His timing and everything will work out...
+ cheer- competition is in 3 weeks. training's been so intensive 3 times a week and i've been sorting the team out in other aspects on the committee as well, i.e. music and competition arrangements.
its hard to juggle and doesn't help when i'm aching throughout the week from getting bashed in stunts etc but i guess i can't stop now.
mom can't stop having a go at me about cheer everytime we talk on the phone. but mom you gotta understand i can't abandon the team 3 weeks before competition when i'm vice captain!!
this will mark the end of my cheer career, unfortunately. and i haven't told the team i'm leaving and they asked if i was running for president next year.
i was just like 'uh. no. i'll die.' and laughed.
but our calendars have sold pretty well- sold like 250-300 of them :)
+ music, church- over christmas, i recorded with E & Co. the song's called "It's Gonna Be Okay", i did the guitar and chords, and john came up with the vocals.. it's pretty much a draft but a good start!
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=download&ufid=37C993624978C2B3
this is the link to the download; it's up for just a week! let me know what you think..
and on friday night i played guitar for worship at service, it was the first time!
what an experience, the spirit was really flowing and i felt a massive presence in the building!
i started practicing at 3pm and we didn't stop playing, not for food etc, until 10ish at night.
and i didn't feel tired at all- i don't understand this.
actually i do, i know God's definitely empowering us to play and all, but it's just so hard to come to terms with. i mean.. wow? You're real?
i really need to apply that to my everyday life.
once i stopped playing and came down and was goin home etc.. i was back in my human carcase and i felt like collapsing.
all in all i've been making an effort to go to church or cell regularly cuz i've now realised how much covering we all need when things are getting to boiling point.
++++++++
i just want to thank those of you who've been always behind me, despite my seeming lack of response which is really unintended..
i love you darius. you are really a God send.
darius has been educating me with elaborate explanations and examples about how the city works via facebook ;)
and i was pleasantly surprised to get two giant boxes of hello panda in the mail yesterday- i do recall telling him on msn how much i missed it and how it's such a rare commodity here.
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January 6th, 2008
09:48 pm - darius wrote this one for me
darius and i were discussing the moral ambiguity that is life itself.
i threw many questions at him, and it inspired him to write this.
the guy's a genius i kid you not...
"
Label Me a Heretic: There Is No Right or Wrong
The issue of conscience and morality is the eternal plague that torments the human race. All of us engage in battle everyday in our minds, struggling to reach some definite idea of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. A truly concrete sense of morality would eliminate all sense of guilt and the need for a conscience. We would not have to doubt or second-guess our thoughts and our actions. Yet, we cannot help but do so in an environment where sometimes right turns out to be wrong and wrong turns out to be right. And even more so when the apparent standard is diverse and can change very quickly.
For many of us, the answer to this question of ambiguous morality would lie with God (I beg your indulgence. I will write from a Christian viewpoint). Yet, ironically, as the way things go, this is impossible. The Bible clearly tells us that God’s thoughts and ideas are beyond us (Isaiah 55:9) and that no one really understands God (Romans 3:11). C. S. Lewis says that our collective understanding of life and issues of existence are so far from that of God, it renders the differences in respective individual perception quite meaningless and irrelevant. In other words, it doesn’t matter what you think is right or wrong. None of us, not the wisest, not the most intelligent, not the most spiritual; absolutely no one understands enough to make definitive and accurate moral judgment. All fall short. This fact is evidenced in history.
Colourful historical villains such as Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Idi Amin were charismatic and powerful individuals, who, I believe, were convinced that their seemingly heinous actions were carried out under a misguided but largely righteous motive. Yet, it can also be argued that heroes such as William Wallace, Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela, who clearly acted in moral righteousness, yet were perpetrators or participants of war, violence and bloodshed. My point, though highly exaggerated, is this; that personal moral conscience, our sense of right and wrong, cannot be trusted. We can never be sure we’re thinking or doing the right thing.
Perhaps a more specific illustration would be helpful.
Martin Luther, the hero and founder of Protestantism. Luther’s interpretation of the Bible and his personal religious and spiritual experiences largely shaped his personal moral conscience and values. His unyielding moral conscience led him to boldly reject the prevailing religious system which resulted in the formation of Protestant Christianity in which millions base their faith and their lives on today. So can we safely say that Luther’s moral conscience was ‘right’? Not before we consider the fact that Luther is widely known to be one of the main perpetrators of anti-Semitism. Surprised? His works Von den Juden und Ihren Lügen (On the Jews and Their Lies), and Vom Schem Hamphoras und vom Geschlecht Christi (On the Holy Name and the Lineage of Christ) were explicitly anti-Semitic and were used by Adolf Hitler’s regime to stir vehement anti-Jewish sentiment. He probably thought he was doing the right thing. Clearly, this Faith Hero’s moral conscience was terribly inconsistent.
However this inconsistency in moral consciousness is not contained within these vivid examples. Moral inconsistency (though not as conspicuous as the cited examples) has been prevalent in every human life throughout history, is currently ubiquitous and will continue to prevail in future human existence. The burning question is why our respective personal moral consciences are inherently inconsistent and imperfect. I will attempt to explain.
Our personal moral conscience and set of values are influenced by two general, collective factors, namely; the ‘Worldly’ or Societal Conscience and the Religious or Doctrinal conscience. While these two respective value systems together influence our personal moral conscience, both systems interact with each other as well. At the same time, each of these two systems is individually diverse and dynamic and is thus evolving somewhat independently.
It would help for you to picture first, a fluid and diverse Societal Conscience that throughout time has been growing and evolving through an ever-increasing multitude of people cultures, subjected to the dynamism of human behaviour, psychology and activity.
You should next picture a relatively less volatile Religious Conscience, equally diverse in that it, too, stems from an ever-increasing multitude of faiths and beliefs. This collective religious conscience is subject to each respective faith’s interpretation of religious articles and expression of spiritual experiences.
Now picture these two dynamic collective consciences interacting with each other, creating a volatile force that exerts a constant influence on our individual moral conscience, which in turn impacts both collective systems, resulting in a three-way flux unceasingly evolving through time.
If we can picture the issue of collective morality in this way, it is little wonder why our moral consciences and values are fundamentally inconsistent and imperfect. Our collective sense of morality is based on the perplexing, ever-evolving relationship between a myriad of unstable factors. The issue of morality is thus understandably extremely subjective and as such, any individual person or organized system such as religion, law or ideology that seeks to govern or define morality will find that it is futile. Clearly, there can be no definite sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. There will always be differences.
Yet, as Christians, how do we consolidate the existence of an omnipotent, loving and caring God with such intractable imperfections in our collective moral conscience? Why would God leave us directionless, much like lost sheep?
The fact is that God did not abandon us. The death and then resurrection of Jesus Christ, who was the personification of perfection, was a declaration in a most dramatic fashion of the existence of a living, breathing moral standard. The fact that Almighty God was willing to physically step into our world, into our imperfect collective moral conscience, to struggle with it as a man and triumph over it, thereby offering consistency, stability and security; a new standard of morality, in a world where there was none. It is a demonstration of the heart and love of God for us.
Abstract ideas of a constantly shifting morality are hard to grasp, but a living person to run to is easier to see. As such, there is no longer any reason to get caught in the three-way flux of your personal moral conscience, the values of society and the dogmatic traditions of religion; getting hammered by confusion, guilt and frustration into a senseless daze. The solution is to run to Jesus. You don’t have to feel guilty about not understanding the complexities of morality. God knows you were never capable of doing so. Therefore, you can be sure that he understands better than you do whatever situation you’re going through.
Jesus is our definite, accurate and perfect standard of morality. But it is a standard not spelled out in words and cannot therefore be simply read and adhered to. He is a person that must be known and understood as with any other normal person we have a relationship with. Therefore, conforming to this moral standard means that we have to cease wrestling with a complex and inanimate moral conscience and turn to a living, breathing, loving God.
An understanding of the depth of imperfection in our personal moral conscience and the realization that the only true moral answer is the person of Jesus has two main implications.
Firstly, we should no longer subject others to our own sense of morality. It is clearly dangerous to set moral boundaries for others when your own sense of morality is inherently skewed. Imposing personal moral values on others would only further confuse serve to hinder their own search for moral consistency.
More importantly, we should refrain from self-condemnation and be aware of the trap of guilt-ridden inertia that results from personal moral judgment. We cannot help but be confounded and bewildered because it is a predisposed fact that we are imperfect and will always be. For all fall short and will continue to fall short. Yet God does not condemn us but instead he comes to us. Therefore, instead of basing our existence on our own inconsistent moral conscience that will drag us into a convoluted haze of moral lifelessness, we should anchor ourselves in the reality and the love of Jesus that is eternally steadfast and resolute. This is our moral rock. We must cling to it under any circumstance.
ref. Romans 3:10-26
"
can anyone tell me why this blog is being annoying and requires the effort of having to scroll to the right in order to see the rest of the sentence?
for your viewing convenience you may want to copy and paste this extract onto notepad or whatever!
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December 13th, 2007
12:55 pm - i should really be doing my essay
i am going ice skatinggg tonight with adzzzz!
i'm working on a trusts essay now tho, needs to be done first!
christmas in london has not let me down yet-
decorations are everywhere!
everyone seems in a better mood..
things are happening everywhere- fun fairs, ferris wheels, toffee apples, candy floss, people in dress up-
it's so lovely!
tomorrow night is the cheer christmas social,
we're all dressing up in proper over-the-top christmas themed outfits!
i'm going as a snowflake!
so i'm thinking loads of glitter.. n shimmer.. n fluff n white n tinsel....
my friend's goin as a christmas tree!
and another''s a PRESENT! A PRESENT.
she's going in a BOX! with BOWS and WRAPPING PAPER!
the english sure love their dress up!
and we're goin to a proper fancy posh restaurant in covent garden for christmas dinner-
how hilarious will it be seeing us all in dress up,
i.e. me having to help ena eat since she's going as a sheep with black tights over her hands!
then we're heading to phase, the king's club night.
i'm on christmas break now,
but i've still got essays to hand in and law applications to do.
i'm done with my CV now, but it's filling in the apps that's the tough bit.
"what makes us different to other law firms?" or "what's your take on the credit crunch?" or "what problems do you foresee yourself facing when taking up practice as a solicitor?"
EXTREMEEEEE!
i'm filling up a taylor wessing application at the moment, it takes at least 2 days dude......
stress, really.
apart from that..
i've started recording!
second take is tmr afternoon- the first time i forgot to cut my nails, so it was difficult to play.
mark's been recording my guitar for one of these songs i showed him.
it goes really well with the vocals n embellishments- oooooo excites!
maybe i can put it up here once it's done, not sure how i can tho.
tif's here on the 20th, mom n dad are coming in 10 days- ahhh i can't wait..
seems ages since a proper family reunion- mom, dad, tif, lene, james, eli.
been like a year!
and they get to meet adam! which should be quite interesting...
adam's decided it's confirmed that he's coming to visit next summer!
he's doing his dissertation on singapore!
it'll be perfect since i can show him around for the purposes of research.
so if you can think of any geographical issues we're dealing with, ideas please!
he's considering doin it on tiger beer, and it's development as a local beer and how it's gone global etc.
i reckon that's top choice since he'll have access to interview the CEO himself!
moreover i feel a little nerved for him since it'll b his first time in asia-
he'll run away methinks!
or maybe pass out from the heat.
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December 5th, 2007
01:03 am
the 2008 KCL Cheer Calendar Preview...
 february- valentine's
 may- exam month
order yours today! i'll make sure they get to you.. £6 per calendar ;)
they go to taking us to competition, funding our practices, and a portion goes to charity!
last tuesday we took part in a cheer competition at the ministry of sound.
we competed with other unis like queen mary.
and we won!
it was nerve-wrecking because that meant doin our routine in front of over 200 people! extreeeeme!
but i was so shattered that day-
literally, my day began with lectures at 9, then straight to the library to do the reading for my 2 hr seminar at 3, then rushing down to ministry for a trial run- and to check the ceilings were high enough- at 530, then heading to the gym for another 3 hours to practice our routine, then grabbing a quick bite n back to ministry to perform.... at 1.30am in the morning?!?!?!?
yes, we had to wait thaaat long to go up.
so i got home close to 3am.
9am-3am.
i slept like a baby on drugs.
i've been very tired...
meeting essay deadlines and makin classes and regularly meeting mark to jam are highly tedious tasks because of how much time i spend at cheer.
this week alone..
mon- training 8-10
tues- training 6-10
wed- selling calendars at guy's bar 730-??late
thurs- performing at walkabout! 7pm-??late
i do love it once i've put on my cheer face- everyone in the team agrees that our uniforms are actually alive- and we're doin our routine, with all the stunts going up perfectly and stickin it etc etc; but i don't know if i can afford the energy any longer.
it's a real dilemma.
i feel like i've reached a point where i know i've taken cheer (as a priority) to its furthest, i.e. i don't see how much more "value" it can add to my life as a whole anymore.
i guess the fact i've been cheerin since age 14, i feel like it's time to retire.
cheering season is over.
"krystal, you're gonna be 21 next year- why're you still doing this???" -mom.
i responded with the hysterics- and we both burst out laughing on the phone for a good 2 mins-
simply because we both knew she was right.
on the other hand,
i can't let go. not yet.
competition's in february.
and i'm vice captain! i can't just abandon the team?!
i guess i'l leave after.. but i don't know if i can ever bring myself to.
it's just one of those things you can never fully relinquish?
i'm stuck!!
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November 15th, 2007
04:36 pm
  
 
a few weeks ago i co-hosted a university of london pageant for the UCL singsoc society.
it was the first time going to an "asian" party.
felt like i was at home!
trev and i had to strategise carefully on how to poke fun at the contestants.
asking "briefs, boxers, or bondage gear?" to the pageant hopefuls didn't stimulate the desired response or even a slight reaction to reasonable humour.
i forgot i was at an "asian" party.
and it was no surprise that the contestants came back with nothing when asked to go on a treasure hunt for "1 unused condom" (i didn't come up with the game, i swear!).
moreover it became slightly humiliating after a while because it seemed like trev and i were trying very hard to make them look interesting.
me: "what do you think is your best feature?"
contestant: "umm.. i don't know?"
me: "that's a shit answer! come on, try again!"
it was a traffic light stopping party so guests were supposed to be dressed in the colours signalling their relationship status.
adam came along to support- he must've felt so out of place the poor boy.
and it has to be said that the juxtaposition of the atmospheres- the party indoors and central london outside- was absolutely blinding.
however i did have a good time though i didn't really know anyone since it was UCL UCL UCL everywhere (pathetic!) and it was just a regular crowd of asian people bobbing measuredly and conservatively to r&b music.
mom will say i'm turning upon my own kind but i don't mean that at all-
i think mambo at home etc etc clubbing is waaay livelier than what "our" kind settle for over here in a little set up comfort zone.
but who knows, maybe in the near future i will attend a very good oriental party over here which'll help me appreciate the artificial "i'm-at-home" set up so maybe i should stop commenting on this virgin flimsy experience.
speaking of home,
i realised i never put up pictures of my new home.
my favourite place in my dated, tiny, ex-council estate, crime susceptible, dodgy and pathetic excuse for a home, is my room.
 welcome to my room
 
shoerack, dressing table, drawers, many picture frames (i like)
 my wonderful law library (there's more)
 
desk, more picture frames, the very messy "every-girl-needs-accessories-&-beauty-products" shelf.
 
i particularly like this- it hangs off my ceiling light
 look at mommy n daddy so happy on their wedding day :)
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November 10th, 2007
12:18 am - this modern love.. wastes me
hello everyone
it's been over a month since i've updated- outrageous!
i'm sorry for my non-commital approach towards this blog.
however, i have valid reasons-
a) the internet's only JUST been set up in the flat
b) it's still shit and incompetent nonetheless
c) i am a busy girl
but i have overcome all that and here i am with the updates:
the past few weeks have been manic- not that you've never heard or seen this line ever before in this blog- but i really mean it!
i guess i could start by describing how i celebrated my 20th.
it was a shameful, but morbidly funny experience.
it took place at funky buddha, this hotshot exclusive club in central london.
(apparently they have a quota for black and asian people)
it's one of the tiger outlets, of course, and i negotiated with the manager and got a very stylish, cordoned off VIP area for me and 40 special guests!
there was a £600 tab of tiger beer, our own bar, waiters, tables, and loungy cushion seats
amaaaazing, except i got too hammered to even remember half the night.
i'm known to hold my drink fearlessly.. but this night was... O_O
when i got there the manager and owner were feeding me drinks and lettin me taste various cocktails and by hmmm, midnight i was off my face!
i woke up the next day to find out that
- i'd lost my phone
- lost my bankcard
- peculiarly given out my bankcard pin number to friends to let them use it to buy cocktails because i was apparently too "off my face" to do it
- got sick in the club toilet
- fell over on the club stairs
- fell over on and along with amy
- pushed her boyfriend over in so doing
- kissed lucy adler
- and created much tension with adam that night because he thought it weird
- got taken home in a taxi
- got sick in the toilet at home
- sat on my bed n slid off n bumped my head on a canvas
and i don't remember any of it!
SHAME! ha ha!
but intriguing at the most..
the first time i've felt the effects of alcohol manifested in memory loss!
never going there ever again!!!
however, i did get free membership from the owner ;)
everyone was like.. "THAT'S ALL RIGHT KRYS IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!"
but i regret getting that hammered because i don't remember the music.. or mingling with all my friends.. who came.. what people were doing etc etc..
my friends think getting absolutely wankered is a sign of a good time, but i'm not so sure....
waking up to a major hangover and getting sick all morning..
again.. SHAAAAAME.
moreover, i'm 20 now. feels, advancing?..
albeit celebrations being conducted in a structure seemingly set up for downfall...
and so it started with pre-lounge drinks at richard's..
  
adam , emily, amy shiri, emily, vicki
just some wine.. banter.. love
 
some lovin from amy
then it was straight to the club via tube.
  
victoria, pam, shiz, part of the gang, richard, pam, vic, lucy wheelerrrr
funky buddha
 
the vip area, eddie, thili, adam, and me (still sober)
 loving the tiger.
certain individuals who contributed much to my downfall....
  
seng- the manager, the personal barman- tsk tsk, jimmy- the owner
and of course.. mind-blowing company
 
trev, mike , me(starting to look dodgy), neil, shiz, vicki
   
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
not to worry, my post-birthday endeavours haven't been so drunken.
i've been cheering, a lot.
too much in fact!
during reading week, i was doing cheer 5 days out of 7.
we had:
- practice
- more practice
- a photoshoot for our cheer calender
- a performance routine at walkabout bar! awesome, free drinks all night, and sponsorship for out calender (about £2000).
- training day with UK's top cheer team "ascension eagles". i got a ribbon prize for outstanding performance!
 (at fresher's fair, collecting approx. 300 sign-ups for trials)
we're doing really well as a team in terms of progress to competition etc.
but it's going to get more intensive coming up with a new routine etc and advancing the stunts.
i get really tired sometimes.. because it undoubtedly takes a toll on my work, and health, having to juggle everything.
and i've sustained several injuries.
the most recent is doing an extended one-legged stunt and landing on hard ground on my knees.
i spent the whole night thereafter reading cases, with a frozen pack of chips on my knee.
it is bruised beyond bruised at the moment, about 3 inches in length, 2 inches breadth wise.
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
recently i've also been working on my CV because apparently it is time to start applying for vacation schemes with the firms here.
and apparently it takes at least a few days just to fill one application.
i've found it quite refreshing placing my life and achievement in writing- you think, "oh yes i remember that time i did that" or "what? how did i manage that?"
i think the "achievements" that still intrigue me today are the ones of bowling & gaming:
how did i ever manage to get so into it at the age of 13 to the point of being part of the singapore STBC team?! i have no interest whatsoever in it at all today!
or how i ever allowed myself to delve into the pursuit of "cyber-geekism" and become a professional gamer at age 14, participating in the world cyber games for 2 consecutive years?!! and 3rd place at that??
its just so, random!
and then i start on the list of "school-related awards etc etc.." and under "university", i have to hesitate before putting down:
- KCL cheerleading "team spirit" award; or
- london cheerleading academy ribbon prize
come on, you have to laugh.
n mom keeps on going.. "why can't you play tennis or something????.....? but... cheerleading????"
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
other than that i've been attending regular worship band rehearsals-
how do i fit that into my tight schedule i don't know, God's grace?
i've had to lug my acoustic to seminars on several occasions.
practice is about 3 hours long, and the team's been pretty impressed with my progress n quick integration- again, God's grace i say!
i haven't found time to learn songs at home, so i learn them at rehearsals straight- challenging, but good fun.
john's talked to me bout' starting to play for his band, which is not "christian christian", no.
they do proper gigs etc, and they are very good. so it shocked me a lil' that he asked.
e&co it's called, for elijah-john & co, john's the main guy n the songs are all personally composed.
recently i played him some of my songs n he expressed interest in me starting to compose for him.
i don't know what to gather from all this but just a glimpse into the future in terms of more exposure to the music scene here!
all in all, i know that God's placed me strategically where i am, completely under His jurisdiction.
many times i admit falling out with Him because of the busyness and its times when i fall ridiculously ill or i succumb to stress n bitchfits just due to the "sheer madness" of everything that i realise i am no longer moving in the spirit- and this makes me buckle to reposition myself.
also i have to say adam's been helping me quite a bit in terms of supporting, though i have to say he is a separate commitment altogether that does, to an arguable extent, also contribute to the "sheer madness".
he produces an added calming effect though, not gonna lie.
 (this is adam, cooking me a meal- a revelation in itself.)
|
October 6th, 2007
12:15 am
our first cheer social initiation! introducing.........
cowgirls and indiansssss!
     
lectures, seminars, cheer training, cheering at games, worship rehearsals have started.
hence the lack of updates.
mainly. law is really draining me.
my property tutor said for we must take one and a half days to prepare for each seminar.
any less we'd be disappointed and lost.
that is absolutely insane.
what i find most amusing is the somewhat sinister and sadistic tone used in the commentary in our seminar material-
"In the first few weeks, you may suffer from the "I don't understand a word of this" syndrome. You may think nothing is going in, and that it's all gibberish. You will blame the subject, or youself, or (even worse) me. This is a common phenomenon amongst property students at the outset, It does not mean that you are stupid, or that the subject is impossible, or even that it's badly taught. It is simply that you are learning- literally- a foreign language. For a few weeks, the vocabulary that you come across will seem like a fiendish and impenetrable code that bars your understanding. (Trust me, we have all been there.)
But stay with it. Like any new foreign language, after regular exposure to it, and yes, practice at using the strange words and phrases yourself, you will suddenly, and sooner than you expect, realise that you understand what you have just read without having look anything up in the dictionary or glossary, and that the words and concepts are starting to come naturally to you. Pretty soon, you will be talking fluent gibberish yourself. Welcome to Property Law."
love it.
|
September 24th, 2007
07:43 am - i am sorry
this blog is acquiring cobwebs
i start uni lectures tomorrow- already!
i haven't been updating because the flat hasn't gotten proper internet hooked up yet.
when i look back at the past 3 weeks i see a massive haze.
i've been travelling crazy!
went to derby for a cheer reunion house party, luton for christian student worker conference, birmingham to molly's house to road trip up north, and the lake district center parcs for cheer camp!
other than that the term's kicked off with freshers fair and about 200 freshers signing up for cheer!
tryout sessions are this tuesday so that should be interesting.
its been sublime seeing everyone again..
but i'm really missing home too.
missing good quality time. and growing.
i guess i grow here too. but in a warped and hard manner.
its too cold in this country
|
August 19th, 2007
07:15 pm - purged in melody
HELLO ALL
i know i haven't updated in a while!!
and so my internship at a&g has ended.. sob!
 
this is my amazing mentor, daren.
i've drawn much inspiration from him and his guidance has been invaluable.
he is such an outstanding individual! and i know you're reading this.. thank you thank you thank you.
there's lots to say but that would take all day!
you can't see it.. but this guy is an undercover indie boy. he's also a crazy lit junkie whose published (close to) 4 books?! he's been watched by the government since his JC-uni days.. and it all started with what..... fighting for the environment?!!
that's one ridiculous journey, daren!
and i still remember our heavy lunch topics :) :) :)
"you know, one thing i fear.. the one thing i fear most. is.. mediocrity."
nicely said ;)
daren gave me one of the books he wrote as a parting gift.
"to the inimitable krystal" he signed, on the first page.
well.. you've certainly contributed inordinately to my inimitable experience at a&g! (to the whiskey bar, i say!)
so my stint at a&g ended with 2 bottles of wine.. with the team i worked with.
 
and what else have i been up to...
i've been.. spending golden time with the people i love.
 
  
 
i've also been doing a lot of introspection..
that translates into me playin loads of guitar and writing songs.. being a recluse... spending time with my spirit man
  
about a week ago i woke up feeling.. empty.
i looked around me and there was no meaning.
that day was different.
other days i woke up and felt God.
i woke up to purpose and therefore reason. to live and pursue life before me.
but that one day was.. bleak.. and everything looked grey. and worst of all- boring.
i stayed home all day and stared.. doing mindless things like surfing the net and moping.
i asked God where are you?
i felt like He left..
i didn't feel like talking, for fear of emotional surge.
so i stayed home. not wanting to victimise anyone.
pick! up! your! bible! i heard my spirit man.
but i left it because i felt no meaning.
so the night ended with me by the windowsill, staring out, music..
but i couldn't escape to myself.. to my thoughts.. conceptions and wallowing
i was surrounded..
surrounded by... Him. suddenly.
the smell of the air. the vastness of the sky. the infinity of night..
He was everywhere.
so i purged it all, with my guitar. and wrote a song.
purged in melody i named it.
and i felt whole again.
all along, He was there.
my spirit man cried for Him. but my flesh was ignorant. yet, He didn't give up..
times like these convince me over and over how much my functioning depends on His presence alone..
it scares me. but then.. it comforts me.
that comfort becomes a kind of empowering.
the week following that one (perceptibly) lonely day has convicted me that moving in His spirit is powerful.
more powerful than anyone can comprehend...
it's crazy.. too supernatural.. and i wish i could explain it.... it's demonstrable in my life, i hope.
moving in His spirit gives you an upper hand in ANY, i emphasise, ANY situation- be it at work, school, at the club, at home, in solace, with the most demonic company..
an upper hand!
we are not made to be influenced by the atmosphere- but to change them to suit ours!
that is your birthright as a child of God.
you don't realise this until you are sensitive to it! i swear over my life......
too many of us waste our lives being ignorant to the spiritual atmosphere around us- an atmosphere i believe is co-existent with reality.
ps/ thank you darius for the book- God only knows what i'd be without you.
|
August 8th, 2007
02:10 pm - let's play dress up
daph and i are bored now in the office..
so i'm taking a break for a bit.....
she's just joined the firm for a month!
here are pictures taken from the UCL geography ball....
(yes it was fancy dress)
 
i went as a sailor girl, shiri was a playboy bunny (ed wasn't too proud)
  
 daph says: " hmm? haha yeah that';s actually what i'm thinkin right now. JHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kjrys stoip it hHhHahAHAHAHA omg hahahahahahaujhahhhahahahhaahahahahahah up your ass ahagahahahahahahhahahaahahahahahhah we are aklsfhaskljfdhkasj bt the office akjfhaskjdaksdhaskjfs oh environment law ahsahakjdhaskjjhashdajk hahahaAHhahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAH ok enough"
ok, back to the ball...
 
  
i miss london
all credit goes to my wife, sophie.
she planned my entire outfit!
that's her dress.
that's her bag, which she turned into a hat.
she even traced and cut the anchor out of foil, to be pinned on!
love you sweetie!! and miss you to bits.
:) back to work
|
August 1st, 2007
06:35 pm - just like heaven
a free ticket to the frontlines of the moshpit to see
the cure
awaits me................
|
July 31st, 2007
02:39 pm - holiday endeavours
zouk- as always
     
some sisterly love....
     
food-tasting with the fellow foreigners (lina, rory, sam)
  
stuck in the backseat, not a glamorous sight
  
sam,"ughh! this is disgusting! please... no,.......,..,.,,,,"
workage- allen & gledhill interns
  
catching up with the old sparks of my life.. who uphold and support me ;)
  
rachel hamster hui darius bestie dawn penguin toh
  
the fab four (+laura, -shar) power class AH(blue) reunion dinner dawn.. where art thou been?
peripheral things
  
wakeboarding- not getting very far due to the impending storm.
and about trading.. after heeding what i perceived to be God's call in my heart and signing up for an account in faith, i waited patiently a good 3 weeks for capital to come my way..
and i now feel it is safe to declare that i have more than enough to start trading!
from what i had in there (the deposit).. it has now multiplied tenfold!
it's all been laid out.. all the signs.
all i had to do was act in faith.
and at church on sunday i shared about vietnam and the paradigm shift happening in the marketplace.
i apologise to all who came to support or who were present for being all over the place and disorganised!
sorry for saying "and" & "bla bla" too much- there was too much to say and too little time!
i had to rush over from darius' church..
i came late and in literally 2 mins i was standing in front of the congregation.
actually.. the only two words you need to know, that encompasses everything i said,
is kingdom impact.
if you'd like to explore more just let me know.
but here's a good start- peter wagner's "the church in the marketplace".
|
July 22nd, 2007
12:39 pm
the week has been absolutely mental!
work work work
researching and drafting out advice to clients as regards
- joint tenancy, land, property law
- gratuity payments, employment law
- powers of attorney, conveyancing and probate, mental disorders and treatment act etc
AMENDING AN ENTIRE 120 PAGE CODE for the media development authority!!!!
what's interesting is that i have deadlines for all these but i finished it all quick n speedy!!
i guess i thrive on efficiency and i hate dragging things because i'l just get bored and fall asleep!
my performance has scared me a little but it's made me realise that God has empowered me to do it and enjoy it!
the rest of the interns think i'm setting the bar too high and have offered to help me out in several instances!
i guess i am puzzling my mentor by finishing the load so quickly so now he's all "oh so you think you can handle it" so he keeps giving me more!
but i'm quite enjoying it cuz' i'm learning so much more by doing more.
my mentor and i get on really well and we have a proper relationship where we joke and i mock his OCD tendencies etc etc and i reckon its real atypical for him to be able to open up with his attachees :)
apart from work going so swell i've had friends from london come visit.
which has accentuated the busyness!
lina's from KT church in london and she was in thailand helpin out at an orphanage so she decided to drop by to visit! she stayed for 3 days...
so after work i had to rush over to pick her!
and then rory and sam contact me and turns out their in the country too!
that was on wednesday.
so i decided to take them all to zouk.
MAMBO NIGHT!!!
they loved it and were so intrigued!!!!
 
david, rory, lina, mike, sam
 
sam went on the podium to do the actions!! HAHAHAHA!!
on saturday darius, rachel and i took them food tasting and we went to geylang, east coast, all around....
the look on their faces after trying durian = PRICELESS.
photos up soon.
having to work and put in effort to show my friends that singapore isn't dull really robbed me of sleep for a good 4 days..
but it was worth it and they've been left with a great impression of our country!
the mambo experience was the highlight of their entire trip they said.
"we've seen nothing like it!! loving the synchronised dancing!!" sam, on mambo
"krystal this is soooo wickeddd!!!!!" rory, at zouk main floor
|
July 16th, 2007
12:04 am - look inside me, what do i have?
i start at allen and gledhill today.
and so begins one month of mayhem!!
nonetheless i will enter with an open mind..
these past few weeks have been manic!
this season is very different- my focus has changed.
this season i feel i'm growing up.
close to a week ago i signed up for an account with a trading house- UOB kayhian.
i suddenly feel God ushering me into investing in stocks!
i've been reading loads about it..
its a radical pursuit- being the pure arts student- i hate numbers, and graphs = gobbledegook to me.
but He's brought around me perfect influences, and its strange how i quite enjoy the books!
so when the word says His will for you will stimulate a passion and desire within you it isn't kidding!
only thing...
i have a trading account. but i have no money in it.
so this is the determinative period.. God bring me capital..........
i know this seems hasty! but i fulfilled my part and sat quiet, delving into intimate moments with Him as regards this decision..
and BAM! i got deuteronomy 8- He gives you the power to create wealth.
and i look at my life and i realise my love for giving.
and how painless, the peace i feel when i give.
i love giving!
i see this wealth accelerating and concretizing kingdom impact.
i see it so vividly- missions, ministry, gospel revolution, marketplace apostleship.
besides this new financial pursuit i've been spending quality time with people who matter.
my best friend, my sisters, my mentors, like-minded/hearted peers, and even friends from the past.
speaking life and purpose.
this season i feel i've matured to a level where i now look at all the knowledge i have about God at a revelational dimension.
"because Jesus is, therefore we are"
i used to go.. okay so we are like Jesus.
but now its...
BAM. followed by that tingly full body sensation and even stinging to the eyes.
wow..
Jesus was holy, sinless, blameless. a saviour. a healer.
and that is me.
i am forgiven. i am a clean, white sheet of paper.
and i have his power.
i am healed.
that is revelation. KABAAAMM.
it enters into my heart. and it becomes my believing.
and it manifests externally into my doing and therefore all the fruit that comes out of it.
i have much to share on this topic.. all will be revealed soon.
God is bringing about a paradigm shift.
what is a paradigm?
it is the mental grid from which we view different realities of the world.
it's about kingdom impact.
who says you are holy and mighty and fulfilling your purpose just because you become a leader in church and you start serving and you start influencing people in there? influencing the FINITE NUMBER of people.
sure maybe that is your true calling.
but what is God's heart?
kingdom impact.
KINGDOM.
the body of christ is not the church but the world.
i'll be sharing at church next sunday!
this is only a preview!
i'd love if you guys could make it!
it'll be on vietnam.. missions.. and a lot about what's been on my heart in regard to this paradigm shift..
i feel burdened to share what He's put in my heart.
so this has been on my mind very much.
and so i've been developing myself in several areas..
i've been playing loads of guitar, writing songs, working on tunes..
reading loads.. investment insights etc. i've signed up for a course on fundamental analysis.
but most of all sharing with people these revolutionary concepts
AND spending time with the ones who enrich, sharpen, and share with me the very heart that man was made to function on- God's.
the result of this.. i feel..
is power.
when we take ourselves away from ourselves and we look at God's heart.
what does He want for me?
and you do just that.
not a day goes by that i don't see any fruit, opportunity, or deep-leveled revelations burned into my heart.
i promise you,
try it!
|
July 10th, 2007
04:57 pm - the vietnam diaries
the glorious food
  
mmm beef noodles claypot and spring rolls signature sour fish soup
  
to die for.. vietnamese pancake! wrapped in mustard leaf, basil, mint dunked in crazy sauce!
  
mmm.. some strange beef, fish hor fun and more dumplings and beansprouts vietnamese crab salad! quite strange...
the main mode of transport
 
it definitely helps with the humidity. and a funky raincoat to complete it all.
  
we get picked by the leaders we train! loving the look.
  
the beautiful people
  
  
 
- this is duy. he's an amazing guitarist who started a worship ministry which now holds conferences with over 400 youth in attendance. he told me even law enforcement officers turned up to see what was goin on and left without sayin a word! amazing!
he's invited me back next year to teach at a 3-4 day seminar made up of about 150 people of all ages, even an 89 year old!
this is major for me! 150???!!!
he told me to start preparing for the topic: the clear conscience of a worshipper. ie. heart and mind.
i told him i'd love to except i'm not sure if God's calling me back to vietnam next year, plus i'll be in london!
all's left in His hands right now..... (but ughhh, what a catastrophic opportunity!!)
duy thought i was at least 25 years old.
 
the vietnamese value their afternoon naps. this is trang- he's part of the young mennonites. his passion kills me.
 
some of the young mennonite gang. this is duy's mother, sarah. she, like duy, thought i was about 28 years old. she attended the train-the-trainer seminar. she travels up to 3 hrs nearly everyday to her church in the outskirts to help out in the childrens ministry; she does this in australia too. "you speak with power, very loud, very strong spirit." this really affirmed me.. she invited us over for dinner.
 
this was at an art & craft factory. incidentally i decided to dress like them (no i didn't).
its scenic capacity
  
  
as you can tell, there are hordes of motorcycles. everywhere. crossing the road is a nightmare!
my crib!
 
ooooo yeah! atypical living accomodations for a trip like this! TV, wireless, dressing table, lounging chairs, double bed.. (adam can you spot 29? ;p)
the revolutionary sessions
 
undercover to the max!! this is pastor hugh and his wife. they have a tiny lil' room at the back for our sessions..
  
and it looks like this. our first session- half the young mennonite group.
 
after a 1hr+ motorbike ride through the rural outskirts, here we are at our second session with the bin duhng group.
 
very energetic bunch! really inspiring..
 
the 2-day train-the-trainer seminar! wakin up at 6am.. training all the way to 4pm.
 
the seminar had about 45-50 adults consisting of pastors, church leaders etc.. training to become trainers.
intriguing to know how much they value our icebreakers! in vietnam no matter how old you are, once they hear "game time", they shoot out of their seats in anticipation!
the man on the left of the picture is pastor koang- he heard i did law, and he shared that he is a human rights lawyer and he fights for the poverty-stricken, and freedom of religion.
he's been in prison.... seven times. i was like "whooa! pastor! that's crazy!"
and he looked at me and grinned, "no no, seven times, not enough."
powerful.
  
time for groupwork!
 
let's play a game! to illustrate the concept of teamwork. challenge- flip the piece of paper over without stepping out of it!
so they climbed on each other..
 
and after training for nearly 8 hrs.. dave and i head to another session.
  
the complete young mennonite group- another 4 hrs of training. that makes 12 hours in a day!
and that is le, our interpretor.
good times
 
with owen & glynis, loving the tiger. do we look trainer-ish?
 
south african missionary family, rob & tracy.
 
cu chi tunnels! dave & i went sightseeing on my last day.
the vietcong entered the tunnel system through these absolutely miniscule entrances!
one of the main reasons why they won- the americans could barely get their torsos in!
  
an american tank. and the shooting range. ak47 baaaaby! i swear i went deaf for a few seconds.
  
time to explore those tunnels! it is an absolute oven in there....
 
quick! dave! catch up! ha ha jokes..
i'm sure people have passed out in there......
 
cuuuute.
 our only encounter with the police. dave saw this ladder thing n went "hey krys we can climb up to that monument!", and halfway through the police came, one of them going, "no! no! no", frantically gesticulating with his arms.
"oh." so dave comes down. and we laugh at the irony of the situation.
vietnam helped me learn more than how much i trained and taught.
its true that we teach what we need to learn most..
most of all i felt what it was like to live purely in reliance on Him as a source of fuel.
training for over 12 hrs..
i distinctly remember having to stumble to my seat with a light head- close to passing out- after i finished training my bit of the chapter.
its as if when i'm up there, He's livening every part of me and giving me the supernatural ability to speak it right.
then when that duty's fulfilled, its almost as if i'm back in that overworked, physically ailing shell for a body- and i crumble.
and when i came back, i had to face the dread that was my driving test the very next day.
no practice for 8 months, compensating with 4 revision lessons since gettin back, then headin to vietnam for a week.
krys don't expect to pass!
and i made every possible mistake one could make during warm up.
and i sat in that room waiting for the tester. "God i went to vietnam for You.. now do this for me."
i prayed for peace and that He control my being once more.
and i got all these flashes of my life- how much He's always been there. giving me favour every step of the way.
london.. my friends.. church.. missions.. opportunities.. my exam results..
and with a little sting to my eyes i knew He was with me for this too.
and i drove on with such peace.
that revelation cushioned my heart and feathered my nerves.
and i passed... by His grace.
to sum it up, vietnam defined many things for me.
destiny.
and its given me several handles to hold onto in life.
His abundant grace, provisions..
and a belief in my abilities because He empowers me.
furthermore, a conviction that i need an extremely unique individual to fill the shoes of the one who will run this race with me for eternity.
|
July 1st, 2007
02:11 am - freedom reigns
we trained our first group last night.
i got back about half 12 in the morning, absolutely shattered.
i washed up and got comfortable in bed, ready to journal and knock out..
but i checked facebook and realised results were out..
panic!!!!!!
here i am.
in vietnam.
all my biggest priorities in my face!!
missions.. training.. God.. spiritual agility... LAW!
so i hold my breath and i check my account..
contract- 2:1
criminal- 2:1
european- 2:1
public- 2:1
thank you God............
i was 2 marks from a first for public.
i was astounded!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU TO ALL OUT THERE WHO HELPED ME THROUGH THAT VERY TAXING PERIOD!! ! !
so updates about vietnam..
with NO APOLOGETICS,
vietnam is absolutely filthy, carbon monoxide-infested, bleak, hazy, grey, stripped down and bare, impoverished!
BUT IT IS ALSO COMPLETELY AND WONDERFULLY EUPHORIC.
it is beautiful, though in a twisted sense..
the people are gems.. though oppressed.
i feel a quiet sense of freedom here.
this trip is full circle different to every other trip i've been on.
as i paced the streets on my own as dave was back in his room working on some emails,
i touched various levels of epiphanies.
i am independent.
i am a trainer.
i am here to equip leaders.
we met 2 other ELA trainers owen and glynice, who are married and from south africa!
you will not believe how down-to-earth they are!
the first time we had dinner we had some tigers (daddy aren't you proud)!
more importantly.
i am no longer someone else's responsibility.
i have my own room and its lovely!
God's grace gave me a double bed, hot showers, comfy chairs, TV, and WIRELESS!!
every other mission trip i've been on has been roughing it out, with scarce findings of technology!
of course this trip i've been extremely fortunate.. every country works differently!
but i pace the streets with a grin on my face.
i love it.
i love loving the locals.
i don't understand a word they say.
pinching that street girl's cheek and handing her some sweets as she follows me blocks just to sell me chewing gum.
i love this.
i feel.. free.
this is my calling.
tonight we trained our second group of leaders.
the place was so far out about an hour away by motorbike.
plus it was raining. and there was a storm before that.
the wind carried with it so much dirt and dust you had to literally run for cover cuz the specks literally & physically inflict you!
so i was on that motorbike in a hideous raincoat.
top laughs!
played tag with dave as he was on the other motorbike pulling faces at me
but.
tonight was so beautiful.
as i watched the group i was so happy.
i was so happy i could've cried. i wanted to.
they were so involved, energetic and fired up for God.
our words are constantly translated so its bit hard since complex words are harder to interpret so i always have to speak simpler.
instead of 'this is a pivotal moment in your life!',
you go.. 'a significant time, important moment where your life changes!'
but nonetheless i am drawing closer and closer to utilising God's supernatural provisions.
sometimes i go up there with nothing to say.
and i just open my mouth.
and stories come.
relevance.
and i make them laugh and i get them involved.
they face so many challenges in vietnam.
they are so heavily in lack of resources, but they are so hungry for God.
and that shames me. and encourages me.
and makes me feel so overwhelmed to witness for myself the kingdom of God being accelerated by this small group of leaders in a remote village, over an hour away from the mainland, in old saigon, offering their lives to serve a purpose that is beyond them, a purpose they believe is the only hope for man.
as i see that 50-60 year old woman shut her eyes as she avidly nods to something i say,
it stings my heart..
when i see that little girl- who is not even part of the training but just sitting in so she may serve us refreshments if ever need be- with fire in her eyes as she also nods in understanding...
i feel my tummy shrink.
this is destiny.
this is it.
she dashes to me for a hug after the training.
so young.. maybe just 10 years old?
she willingly serves the members of the group, gets on her knees to clean the floor,
and i turn to dave after the session, and i say, with a sigh..
"she's gonna be big."
i just know it.
and i want to witness that happen.
but if somehow i can't,
i believe i've invested something into her life.
i'd love to say more..
but sleep is something i really need right now........
please continue praying for us!!
as i've predicted, we've faced some challenges.
-i've been feeling a bit under the weather, mornings are a nightmare to me.
-our first group on thurs was cancelled (very unexpected, and muddling), supposed to be rescheduled but nothing yet.
-only 1/3 of the group we trained last night turned up because the others were at some event so we had to plan another day to gather them round again on a different day..
-fatigue fatigue fatigue..... tonight we got back close to midnight. i really shouldn't be writing on this thing now! (sorry dave i know you want me to have an early night) but i feel i should.
please continue bringing on that prayer fire guys.
thank you for the support.
and darius.
you are gaining some reputation here.
i've mentioned you twice in my trainings. (i couldn't help it!)
love you all and see you soon. will update again when i can.
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June 25th, 2007
04:49 pm - let me handle You
i am headed to vietnam on thursday for a week.
i'm goin with equipping leaders for asia (ELA)..
it'll be a week long and i'll be partnering with dave!
iits gonna be more high-end stuff compared to the past myanmar trip.
in myanmar we trained bible school students etc and other leaders of churches to rise up as leaders.
but in vietnam, we'll be training leaders to rise up as mentors and trainers!
dave says they'll all be older so its quite daunting for me.
but i know God wants me on this trip because out of my crazy schedule of driving lessons, law internship etc etc,
that one week was the only block of time i was free.
which is more than a coincidence i dare to believe.
other than that i know this trip is supremely relevant cuz i want to be more active in the organisation, having been away for close to a year.
its gonna be awesome, but we're gonna need loads of prayer fire guys, so please help us out!!
for definite, i can almost predict what will happen over the trip..
-we'll fall ill (probably simultaneously, because satan is just too predictable)
-traffic will be strangely immense, so we'll make our sessions late
-we'll be unfairly surprised by a sudden change of material we were originally supposed to train, which will strike us off balance..
-sleep will be a problem (nightmares, funny sounds at night..)
this is all gathered from experience, with an added dash of irony because as i said above, satan is just too predictable!
please pray against these things, thanks guys!
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last night i met darius for dinner.
we went to crystal jade and had a proper meal.
then we thought dessert so we headed to ben & jerry's for 3 scoops and waffle.
then i told him i've missed mee pok,
so we hit the food centre to grab some.
then i thought i need a drink so i had 2 gin & tonics at acid bar.
then it got late. really late. 12ish in the morning?
so we went to lido's macs for a snack and to sit about since its open 24hrs.
i'm gonna get fat here!!
our catch-up session was amazing though.
he updated me loads about his recent God experiences and i saw such a spark in his eyes,
a very different spark. like something had come alive within him.
i knew he was for real.
after all these years being a christian, he had finally achieved God.
what's it mean to achieve God?
darius sees it as insanely simple.
just open your heart to him and love him fully with it.
we say that all the time, we sing it inordinately- God be my life, i love you with my life, i give you my life, i love you forever etc etc blabla
but as the cliche goes, when do we ever mean it?
its as simple as that.
the bible says the kingdom of heaven is a pearl, just a shiny pearl, worthy enough to a pearl merchant who discovers it on a piece of land, buries it and sells all his worldly possessions just so he can purchase that land.
who would do that?
this pearl must really be something.
then the question is..
what would you buy with all that you have?
darius says that christianity is really that simple.
God is in search for men and women who are willing to give their hearts fully to God.
these men and women are few.
why did Jesus ask Peter whether he loved him three times?
the first time Peter said, yes, i fellow you.
the second time likewise.
the third, Peter got smarter. he realised.. and finally. "yes Jesus, i love you."
then he became Simon Peter, leader of the church.
God wants your heart..
are you withholding it from him?
its too simple isn't it..
but every simple fact comes with it manifold implications..
giving up the things in your life which hinders your heart from being open to Him.
they seem like sacrifices. tough ones.
but darius thinks otherwise- who should want to live apart from that eternal destiny God has called us to? who would want mediocrity? who would be foolish enough to trade off eternal inheritance for a bowl of hot soup?
at church ian said something very meaningful.
the world works like this..
image the titanic.. everyone is drowning.
what the world is doing is asking one question- "how can i make your drowning more pleasurable?"
you're still destined to be drowned, but the world attempts to help you feel good as you drown..
how true.
temporal, instant, immediate satisfaction is what the world strives.
what happened to those strong and willing enough to rid themselves of their situation by finding a lifejacket or clinging onto something to stay afloat?
that's what we need, we need a handle in life,
and i'm convinced that handle is God.
if it isn't, then why are we still living?
everything else dies..
what else lives forever?
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June 23rd, 2007
02:03 am - the country (part 2)- welcome to leighton buzzard
 
adam's dad is a vicar, so they stay in a victorian home next to the church. and the massive garden and the path which leads to it. beautiful.
this is the famous fellows bell which alerts the household for dinner, family meetings etc. the headphones protect daddy fellows' ailing eardrums (HAHAHA).
adam loves ruby most, the brown one on the right. he goes "BED. BEDDDDDD. BEDDDDDDD." and all three of them get in and sit there staring at you. :)
 ---------> 
from this poser to this one (still posing, tsk tsk)
THIS IS THE TOWN CRYER! how ancient! he's the dude who goes "hey ho hey ho the butcher shop has now opened, etc etc.." i shouted a big hello and he was friendly enough to wave back :)
 
away to the town of woburn!
  
antique viewings, purchases, the magpie for pub lunch.. before setting off for.............
 
the country roads! and parking the car so we can find and catch bambi! but instead...
 
we chance upon a beautiful, isolated lake. with swan, ducks, water lillies, dragonflies.. wow.
 
 
what a "notebook" moment. so we just sat, chilled and soaked up nature's glory
 
a boy being a boy (he freaked me out by doing that)
 up up up up the slopes of leighton buzzard
 
glorious view- that's the field where gliders were taking off and landing. we sat about watching them hover about above us, picking flowers, and spotting the various birds of prey.
 
then it was back to the vicarage to meet the fellows clan- grant (dad), ben (lil' brother), val (mom). roast dinner mmmmmmm.. wine and banter and loads of adam-bullying. daddy fellows went to king's too so we teamed up against adam and his pathetic excuse for a university (UCL).
they were so lovely and we got on really well- loads of jokes and even the occasional deep discussions about church and LAWSUITS (??!).
and after dinner father fellows took me to his church to explore. it was breath-taking; it was built in the 1600s, and the furniture and carpentry work within it are up to 700 years old.
he showed me the graffiti on the walls- which are carved out- he said professors from oxbridge have come down to examine them!
he explained the church's history and even delved a little into the purpose of symbolism etc etc in the roman catholic church (like the act of saying a prayer, lighting a candle, and placing it on the stand).
we got on so well since we share the same love for history- he explained that the stained glass was designed by kemp, and i immediately spotted this figure to be thomas kemp, to which he avidly agreed!
then we were talking bout all sorts of things like how the church is all about its people etc etc, adam felt so left out!
nevertheless its great to know he comes from a family which prides themselves on christ and substance.
its so inspiring knowing his dad is not the stereotyped dogmatic hardliner preacher man who dictatorially follows law and doctrine,
he loves "sex in the city" for crying out loud.
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